Gary: “I’ve worked nine of the last ten days. I’m taking the afternoon off.” Garbage Disposal Unit: “Today is a good day to spring a leak.”
Statuses
February 6, 2021
Any day that starts with bacon has to be good… I start every day with bacon.
February 5, 2021
Today is a triple espresso + Mountain Dew type of day…
January 11, 2021
So Grammarly tells me it detected a new tone in my writing last week — ‘negative.’ Now I need to get started on ‘sarcastic’ and ‘antagonistic.’
September 4, 2020
That moment when …
you regret ignoring the message from Photoshop asking if you really want to close the window without saving …
February 6, 2020
That moment when … You go for a pee and after struggling for several moments you realize your boxers are on back to front.
July 2, 2019
Bar sign: “Extreme Midget Wrestling” Only in the Ozarks (I hope).
June 17, 2018
D’oh! In a repeat of the dishwasher dying right after I spent money on a new hammock … The freezer died tonight, less than a week after we laid down the cash on our new furniture.
June 2, 2018
Painted in big letters on the back fence: “VIDEO! DOG BITES!” Large sign on the side of the same house: “STOLEN DOG. $500 REWARD…” You cannot make these things up.
March 29, 2018
Following a successful field test with our old lounging hammock, I decided I could afford to buy a light-weight backpacking hammock, tarp, and under-quilt …
Four hours later the dishwasher died and we were mopping up a quarter inch of water from the kitchen floor.
January 27, 2018
That moment when a sharp pain in the groin wakes you in the middle of the night … And, upon investigation one discovers a cat’s claw (attached to a cat) embedded in one’s scrotum.
I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.
January 11, 2018
I live in America, remind me why I’m studying the 119 page EU General Data Protection Regulation? — the joys of doing business online in 2018.
January 4, 2018
Windows 10 Creators Edition; finding creative ways of ruining your day.
December 31, 2017
The “I can’t give a f**k” is strong in this one. — The struggle is real.
December 15, 2017
is not taking my medication regularly making me forgetful? Or, is it the other way around?
August 10, 2017
Earlier this evening. New definition of incongruous. Brit driving an Impala through the Ozarks while loudly singing along with 1970s Canterbury prog. rock. #caravan #cunningstunts
August 5, 2017
Did I miss the memo? We seem to have skipped August and September and jumped straight to October. Brrrr.
November 12, 2016
One day I’ll grow up. But not today. Thanks to Leslie Nielsen I’m giggling at the thought of the up-coming Beaver Moon.
September 25, 2016
That moment when you congratulate yourself on losing 10 lbs … and then realize you have another 16 lbs to go.
September 12, 2016
That Moment when … standing in the shower you realize that the hot water heater is out and there’s no hot water.
May 16, 2016
Tonight I must sleep, for tomorrow may bring … Pork Pies !!!!!
February 2, 2016
Yesterday Ginger and I were discussing the absurdity of Lay-away … … I still haven’t got the tune of “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” out of my head.
January 31, 2016
That moment when … you are reminded, too late, that some things were made before microwave ovens were common…
December 19, 2015
So much click-bait, so little time…
November 12, 2015
Microsoft – reducing grown men to tears since 1975.